It's all hidden. Although you left me in silence.

I just came home. Today slept like mad. Alll the break i slept. Damn shiok ah. Hmm, someone told me sth abt me today and i was kinda affected by it. The sumone said : u talk damn rough ah like boy leh! Can talk gentler anot ah. Behave like one boy."

For a moment i was surprised ah. And i thought. Maybe, its time to change. My attitude, my behaviour. I shouldnt talk so much. HA. Hopefully u ppl will get used to it. Oh well. I think im closing this blog pretty soon. I dont have any more mood to blog like before. Bye peeps.

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 6:01 PM .

I talked to darling till like almost 2 yesterday. Today woke up at 6.10. Damn tired ah. Slept in bus. Hmm. Now in school.
I miss him.

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 8:11 AM .

This feeling came true. It's horrifying. He wanted to leave me yesterday. Sigh. Yeah, anyone who has feelings will know how it feels. I didnt get to sleep until 6.45 am. And woke up at 7. SO like i only got 15 mins of sleep? Then go school lor. Slept during break. Was freaking tired. Sorry ah, dun really have the mood to blog. Daddy fetch me home today. So nice.

Go home slept for awhile and darlin called me. I kind of like ruin the mood ah. And everything is like so different. I thought we could maintain this relationship. Somehow, i know sth is wrong. Well, i'm exhausted. I'm trying to do what i can le. Oh well. It takes 2 hands to clap.

Sunday work full shift. Sure damn tired. Ah i hate life.

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 8:10 PM .

Today i went to school as usual. Kind of moody. I don't noe, just got this feeling. Brother knows. I guess he's the only one who i can share almost everything with, openly. Sigh. I love brother. He understands what i'm going through. I skipped lecture so i sat alone in canteen waiting for the others to come out. Then slack awhile jiu go back class.

Then after class i took bus 69 to brother hse. He teach me the way there. Then reach le i saw his FAT dog. LOL. So cute lei. So fat. I also wan! Then he bring me to his room. Wah, the first thing i saw his com. So full of things. Then his room on air-con. Brother like pig lo still wan sleep. Ahhh, k la k la not pig, cause someone slept at 7? Then i used his com a while. Go online. Used friendster. Then do my visual lit. Dumbo shane sae wan help me draw in the end steal all my ideas. GRR! Then we sing song, record songs. Then yah.

I damn enjoyed myself today. Brother got 2 dog. Both soooo cuteee lor. Played with them and yeah. Then brother wanted show me another of his hamsters but it was gone. He was damn sad. I know. Brother cheer up k? Still got sister. Sigh. Then i went back to msn. Got a little sad. I mean. Yah lah. Brother ask me dun emo. Somemore dare to on emo songs lor! Purposely leii! Then he prepare food for me to eat. Yum yum! So nice lahh hee! Then we share the food and have somemore fun and he took a damn long time to prepare himself ah. Worse den girl lei! Aiyo!

Then after that i go see him play his electone. So nice lahh. I so envy him. Compared to my playing... LOL. No hope le. AFter that we left the house and took bus 22 tgt. He told me many stuffs. I guess it's true. Sigh. Then took bus he alighted first. Then i sat all the way to amk inter. Meanwhile, he smsed me. =) I today then found out that shane is really a goooooood and excellent brother. Really appreciate him alot. He try so hard to be there for me. Then in the bus i kept thinking of stuffs. Couldnt get to sleep. Liliang called me, ask me wanna meet or not. So i reached amk go meet him.

He was with his fren. And we go find job. Too bad, no luck. Then after slack awhile jiu go home le. Sigh. I miss him. And of cause my dear shane. =) Nights peeps. I love u all.

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 10:59 PM .

I'm back home! So tired can. No mood for anything. I'm going to brother's house tmr. See hamsters, slack and do homework? I hope i can finish. But most probably not. Cause i have like 100 of pictures to draw and i have absolutely no ideas! I'm dead laa. And tomorrow i must bring one big file so extra lor. My classmates sure ask me bring for what one.

Anyway, i hate sun. Yeah, that's right. I fucking hate that faggot. Ah well, he's the STUPID one and he's a fucking basturd. Aand i'm very sure i'm not the only one who hates him. He's a sucker, a loner, a pathetic asshole. BUT i dont pity him at all. I'm never gonna talk to him again. Irritating shit.

Don't have the right mood today. Oh wells, i tink i go off first. See ya guys.

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 10:34 PM .

Oh wells, i'm like in school now. Skipped lecture just now so got to get up at 1? But.. I'm not one so i woke up at 12. Then go record my mummy voice. Practically screaming myself at home. Feel so weird. HAHA. But who cares? I'm done with the PRSP thingy. Finally. Then slack ahwile den go bateh and make up and choose clothes. Wah, today change and change and change clothes non stop. Dont know what to wear. But i made up by mind by wearing the purple dresss with a black top inside. Aiyo. Cant find my tights so i didnt wear it.

I was walking to the interchange. Oh, i meant reached the interchange and i realised something. I forgot my ez-link card. I ran back ALL the way home! Was seriously sweating like mad. Then go home take my ez-link and took bus instead of walking to the interchage. Darling called me and he talk to me for about half an hour. Then someone want be good boy. Got to hang the fone. Good boy my ass laaa. Good boy dont get horny and talk about horny stuffs all the time. K darling? HAHA!

When i reached school, i see everyone doing their prsp. Wahlao and i didnt do my storyboard. sian lor. Then rush everything and i just hand up the project. Guess what, i haven complete something. But i lazy to ask teacher. So... Yeah... Im gonna fail this.

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 3:44 PM .

Freaking shag day. Woke up early and the first thing that came to my mind is skip school. My eyes were freaking swollen. So ugly can. Then no choice still got out of bed and bathe evrything lor. Then go school So tired but couldnt get to sleep on the bus. Then darling called me and talk for awhile. =)

Whole day didnt feel good. Felt like vomiting. Thought it was motion sickness but, it lasted for the whole entire day. Ah, maybe its just some gastric flu. Oh well, morning we did our wds and miss natasha gave out our proposals. One by one. I chat with my darling online. For while den went off for cmsy lecture. As usual, didnt understand a single shit. Waste of my fucking time. JY kept disturbing me by kicking my chair! &%&% MEAN!

After that went off for break. I drank the hot dessert. Cause didnt feel like eating. Then talk about some stuffs. OPEN. haha. Then slack until go cmaths lecture. Sian lor. Everyone sleeping. Then after that break again. We go bookshop buy disc. And envelop for project. Then darling called me again and he was sleeping! PIG! Went back for WDS lab after that. I was the last to leave after lesson cause i wa slaggin behind need to ask miss natasha. Sun and joseph wait for me. So sweet right.=) Miss Natasha gave back my proposal. I got a B-. Haha. So unexpected. Then asked about my term test and she said i passed. Aiyah sure get those just pass one? LOL! This one expected one. Then after that joseph pei me go pay bills and we went to library toilet. Then wait for me and left togther to take the bus.

While waiting, we talk alot of stupid craps lah. LOL. Then that joseph ah, keep pinching my face. GRRR! On the bus also! Aiyo! Then he alight first and i took the bus back alone myself. Tried to sleep again but just couldnt get back to sleep. Oh well.

I just asked brother for help for my prsp thingy. I LOVE HIMMM SOOOO MUCH! Thanks brother! You got the nicest voice ! Next time meet up. I owe you one! =) Aanyways, skipping lecture tmr. WHOO HOO. CAN GO SCHOOL LATE LOOO!

P.s. I'm still having those fucking headaches which goes on and on for days. Argh! And i'm like feeling damn terrible and horrible right now. Killl meeeee! I feel really terrible. GOD. My head fucking hurts and my stomach is like feeling damn uneasy. H-E-L-P. Edited at 12.35 am

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 11:09 PM .

I've been yawning non stop for the past few hours. Oh man, i'm exhausted. Totally. I don't have the mood to do anything. Eat, play, do work, pack bag. I just feel like sleeping. zzz

What's worse is that this feeling is coming back again. Sigh. It sucks. Maybe it's because i'm too tired. And has affected my mood and stuffs. Argg. Save me. Someone. The feeling is terrible.

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 8:11 PM .

CLICK FOR A LARGER VERSION!

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 6:22 PM .

Happy 2nd month baby! Argh it sucks, as i can't spend time with you again! Ah, nevermind, got many many more chances. =) So like yeah, yesterday i was awake till 4? Cause waited for darling to call me. But his mother came in and asked him whether he was using the fone so he had to hang? LOL. Then after that use his hp call me back. Aiyo! After talking for 7 mins den he use his hse fone call me back. Then say talk for a little while become 1 hr plus. Haha. Then like told him some stuffs ah. And he was laughing and laughing. So mean lor someone. Next time dont tell you liao! Hmphh!

Then talk talk talk and i started to get stressed cause tomorrow gonna start school already. Sigh, it sucks. Can't get to see darling in school anymore! Work, school, work, school. I won't have so much time to spend with my boy le. ='( Yesterday play msn games with darling. Haha. So lame lor some games. And then isketch. And then chat and chat lor.

Woke up at 9 today cause need to meet lenon, edward and sharina at bugis. I reached bugis mrt at 10? Supposed to meet at 1030. Seee i'm such an early bird. I called darling for like 2 times and msg him and called him for the THIRD time den he answer. Aiyo! So pig lei! And i think he dreaming lor. Dont even know whether he knows i even called him. Must be dreaming. I go withdraw cash and top up ez-link and wait wait wait. Lenon came first and was talking while waiting for the other 2 to come. Then he was like talking damn loud. Lol! So paiseh leii! Must keep reminding him to quieten down. After awhile edward and sharina came and we went to eat. At a foodcourt. I didnt feel like eeating but in the end i still ate. So pig lor me. Then after that we proceeded to simlim square. Oh yah, before that, go mac buy ICE-CREAM! LOOOKK! So fattening. Edward was like laughing at the way i eat. GRR!

Then at simlim square we took almost all the brochures and shop shop and i saw this laptop damn nice damn stylo. Damn worth it. But i called mummy and she said CANNOT BUY! Dun waste $$$! AHHH, My mood changed lah. Then nevermind. We walk walk walk den wan go in a shop then the alarm ring. Wah, scare me i dont dare go in lor. Then they pull me in. Haha. So funny. Keep saying "I dun wan lah! I dun wan! I say i dun wan!" But in the end, still went in wat.

After that i felt like buying PSP. The pink one. Cost about $300. So i asked mummy again and she said "TOO COSTLY" Then i keep arguing with her den she angry sae dun tok to her since i so stubborn. Sigh. I want it mah. Buy myself also cannot meh? Everytime also like dat onee. =( Then after that we go nearby and slack and discuss about the project and then after all done, we went home. Me, edward and sharina take bus. Then edward so gentleman lor wait for the both of us. =) What a good classmate i have. Then reach home le and slack awhile lor.

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 4:11 PM .

Both winners. LOL!

Look at baby's drawing! CAMEL!?!? HAHA!

OKay basically, i woke up at 12 cuz darling called me. I remembered i told him my dream den talk awhile jiu hang le den i went back to sleep. Yesterday talk to brother for about an hour and he also got his own problems. Sigh. After that darling called me and yeah. Talk until 4 den hang up le.

Today wake up and slack only lor watch tv n play com. Then darling wanted to play his game so i wait for him play finish his game le den chat lor. Someone today very good. Play isketch with me. =) So happy lor. People suspect we cheating lah. LOL. Somemore nick like same same one. Kissmyass and kissmybutt. LOL! Then haven draw finish den guess the answer le. We like share answers through msn. So funny lor. Then got this idiot sae i should mind my nick. Idiot lor! Then after that i kick someone out of the game cuz the person keep saying we cheat. GRR. So irritating lor.

After that bathe and eat and chat with my darling. =) Oh yah today i good girl do housework! =)

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 7:54 PM .

LOOK WHO'S THE WINNER! HA!

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 1:43 AM .

It just seems so unfair. Biasness. I don't know why i'm feeling this way either but it's just so obvious. My mum is basically picking on me everytime she has the chance to. It's like i have to use the computer for my fucking project and she claims that i don't wanna let my sister use. Wtf.

Said: The com is NOT only for 1 person to use. It is to SHARE. Why you never ask your sister to lend you!

So sarcastic can. Damn irritated. This is not the fucking first time. I'm getting sick of all her shit. Say already still nevermind. She purposely close the fucking door. She and her beloved daughter, sherrie soh. So sweeet! Awww. Don't even wanna talk or speak to me.

Nevermind. I'll get used to it. Anyway i'm gonna start my fucking work and school. Gonna be damn stressed up and busy. Better. And one day i'll just breakdown. WHOO. Hopefully.

P.s. Somehow, i feel that everything is slowly changing. It's gonna happen someday. Sigh.

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 10:52 PM .

http://xiaolovemedia.imeem.com/music/M-j6oGoM/star_byul/

I just watched the 200 pounds beauty. The show was touching. Nice show. Sigh. My darling is in a not-very-good-mood. So he like didnt want to talk to me. But, well, i hope he feels better. Miss natasha talked to me on msn this afternoon. Asked me to send regards to him. Then i send her the youtube thingy to watch. She said she kena scared. Haha. =P

Then after that i proceeded to watch my 200 pounds beauty. Drank milo. After that i went to bathe. Smoked a stick in the toilet. After which, forced myself to puke the stuffs i drank and ate. Was feeling terrible. But yeah, the feeling was good. After emptying everything. Legs were wobbly, eyes were watery and nose was running. I hate my figure.

So now, i have to focus on my alice project. Haven't been doing it for the past few days. Didnt have the concentration. Ahhh, alice is making me irritated. It's like i have the idea buti can't execute it out. Cause i'm a noob who knows nuts about alice. I guess i better get along with it now. I won't have the time to do so otherwise. Bye peeps. Will update soon. Later!

p.s. I hate my figure!

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 4:38 PM .

Sorry for the lame nick. HAHA. BUT who cares?! Im the winnerrrrrrrr! WHOOO HOOOOOOO!

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 11:42 PM .

Okay. I am a person who thinks alot. So maybe sometimes i get irritated and stressed up for nothing. Darling talked to me yesterday. Felt so much better when i talk to him. But felt quite irritated when i talked to him at first. Sorry baby! Couldnt control my emotions. Then brother was like talking to me on msn. Teared. But after a while i was okay. Ohhh look look look , i sound so emo! AIYO! Darlin say he want go ireland! Sigh. But i'll support him in whatever decisions he make..

Then about 3 am we slept. Darling sound so dead. Haha! Then said goodnight and all. Brother smsed me. and i guessed he was feeling uncomfortable. Haiz. Sorry ah bro. Couldnt pei you ytd. But i'll promise i'll always be there for you. Call me anytime when u need someone to talk to ok. =)

Oh well, darling called me in the morning. And told me going out le. I was sleeping ah. HAHA. Then after that i went back to sleep and woke up at 2. Then went brush teeth when darling called me. Aiyo. Wrong time. Thenwent online to chat with him. But someone like playing his game ah. So... ha..

I went to do my "stuffs". And talk to brother lor. SO funny. =) Talked about some stuffs lor. and he started sending me files. LOL! Then darling suddenly call me and told me he was damn fucked up. Haiyo eh darling ah, always like that. But when you make things happen, you haf to face it. Okay baby? Anything i'll also be here for you one. Just dont go make things worse. Try to control your temper.

Sigh. I'm bored.

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 5:31 PM .

Oh i didnt get to sleep in the afternoon at all. I couldn't sleep. So i went back online again. Wwent to interchange to meet mummy and off we went back home. Played the com for a little while and proceeded to watching tv. Sigh. I dont have any mood. I feel irritated. Several reasons. I hate school, i hate work. Mummy told me im not supposed to work on weekdays, but in-charge confirm wont allow that. I'm stuck between these 2. Feeling damn fucked up. Plus, projects and all. I'm afraid i cant cope. It's bothering me.

I lost focus in everything i was doing today.. I'm not trying to be emo or something, but yeah. I just can't help it. Maybe.. I should just live one day to another and not think about stuffs. Maybe..

I hate this feeling i'm having now. I just feel like breaking down. Sigh.. ='( I hope nothing bad happens.

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 10:23 PM .

I slept at nai's hse ytd. Cause went to meet darling at his house. I woke up at 1130 and slack awhile. Darling never call me when he wake up. =( So bad lor someone. Then after that i left the house around 12 plus or 1. Then walk to the bus stop. Just nice the bus came. So yeah. I took the bus and got this group of bengs and lians freaking irritating. On music so loud nvm, somemore on techno. Make th ebus so noisy. Then the girl so hiao one lor. Irritating. Then after reach pasir ris interchange, changed bus and went to darling house there. Lost my way cause i forgot where to alight. But managed to find my way after all. =/

Then i reach his house le press doorbell and his mummy opened. So i went inside and tok to darling lor. Then do my alice for 1 hour and gave up. Very irritating lah the alice thing. ARGG. Then after that go darling room and smoke a while den lie on his bed. Wah really feel like sleeping lor. Then someone ah, wanna wake me up. -.- Then............. =)

Then after that go out do alice again and after that go in the room again den his daddy knock on the door say cannot off the light. After a while, he ask we 2 go out. Both of us kena lecture. Then hor, darling keep on look at me and laugh so i also buey tahan lah den i also laugh lor. Like so rude lei! Aiyoh! Darling ah! Then he started talking about the future and all, scared we do funny things. So asked us not to close the door in future and stuffs like that. Haha.

After that darling's parents left and we eat a little bit den went back to his room. Close the door. LOL. Aiyo. Then dunno who smoke again lor. Say dunwan smoke but still smoke. Dunno hu ah? HAHA. Then after that...................... Im not continuing.

I went home around 1030 and nai make soup for me. Then after that give me money ask me buy thing or food for myself and sister. So nice lah my nai. Anyway i tried calling mama ytd but she off her handphone. Wonder what happened to her. Haiz. Then talked to weixiong on fone for some time and he started to get all dramatic again so we hanged up. After that darling called me and we talked till 5 plus am . After that dozed off to slp. zzzz.. Morning jamie maid come nai house and wake me up. Then i eat fruits den left the house. Wwait for the stupid bus damn long. Irritating lor. Then while in the bus, darling called me and tok for 12 minutes and he gotta do his stuffs. Then i reach amk le go buy my contact lens and all den go home.

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 2:36 PM .

I look at myself and i feel so disgusted. Spoils my mood, spoils everything. I hate my figure, i hate my everything. I'm seriously going on a diet. I've already put on so much weight. I hate it! I feel damn irritated. Why?!?! It's so unfair. Can't i just be like those who eat and eat and never grow fat. Unfair. No eating heavy meals. I swear. From today onwards. Morning: Milo Afternoon: Bread Night: Milo. I hope i lose weight by having this planned meal. =/

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 6:32 PM .

Fuck all these shit. Just when i wanted to start onj my projects, i couldnt even manage this fucking thing. Ask people, all also dunno. Dunno lah. Im not doing my project already. Seriously come to a point wherei give up. not gonna touch the fucking thing. Hate school. I hate projects. Argh.

Fucking sister is another problem. CB. Had a bad fight with her. My arms like hurting lah. Bitch. Seriously damn fucked up lah. Fucking bad day. KNNBCCB. $#*%^%%#$%#*. Just feel like breaking down. I hate THIS FUCKING FEELING.

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 9:14 PM .

Today woke up at 12.30. Mummy came in and used the pillow hit me. LOL. Then after that went for lunch at the nearby coffeeshop and then headed home. Then after that darling called me but i was in the toilet. -.- I came out le i slack and lie down on bed and waited for him to call me back. But i was slowly drifting to sleep.. ZZZ.

After a while darling called! So we talk talk lor then i needed to do housework and had to hang the phone. Then go clean my room, then vacumn ther whole house. After that mummy ask me wash toilet! SO we 3 beauties so wash one small toilet. HAHA. All crammed up in that toilet. Then play water lor. So funny. So long nv play le. =) Then after that go bathe le den go down buyfood eat and yah. Back home at last. Im feeling damn tired. Anyway, photos of 15 June.

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KFC

Sh a R le Ne__* told you a secret at 7:50 PM .